whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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