So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
