i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
