The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
