SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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