The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
