U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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