I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
