her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
