i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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