I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
