I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm passing your future prison.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
