Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
smell my finger.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
