C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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