Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
