you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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