thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
