After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
