I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
