So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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