This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
