May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize