I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
