hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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