He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
