Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
