We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
