he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
