Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
