Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
