so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
