Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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