plz talk dirty to me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
