tell your sister to shave her snatch
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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