I can't watch pbs sober anymore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
