What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
