Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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