Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
one two three fourrrrnication!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
