You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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