why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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