is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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