Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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