There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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