end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can't put those talents on a resume
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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