Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
