Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
