GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
