I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
