i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
