I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
