Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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