the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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